The so called life of ASH CRIMSON
by LadyKadaj
Summary: Hint: Ok, Duolon's finally in... umm somewhere GrinsWritten in Ash's POV and basically how Ash sees life. A bit of humour everywhere! EDIT: Stopped writing for time being but will continue when KOF XI is out! YEAH
1. 1 Life Sucks

**Disclaimer**: All characters owned by SNK. I am just a nobody who has nothing better to do than daydream about Ash the latest "hero" or "antihero" of 2003. I have been reading fanfics and I am appalled at the lack of fics involving Ash. Ok maybe you guys think he's gay or something but he's supposed the main guy of 2003 and deserves some limelight of his own, don't you think? Winks

Ever wondered what Ash would be like in Real Life? Well, I have thought about it and here's my interpretation of him. My 1st fanfic so please dont flame me if I suck . Instead do try to give constructive criticisms so I may improve ok? Thanks ;)

Oh yes and reviews please so I know which direction to head for in the story.  
All Written in Ash POV.

Enjoy :)

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**Chap 1. Life sucks**

"Wake up Ash, WAKE UP! Its already 8 in the morning!" Shen blared rudely into my ears as he tried to rouse me from sleep. And damn him! I was having the best lucid dream in years and the nerve of him to do that!

"But it's Sunday & I thought the appointment was only at 11am? An hour more please?" I tried pleading with him, my eyes barely open. Alright, maybe it was a bad idea chatting on IRC till the wee hours of dawn... but then again, how often does someone as interesting as MissL walk into the chatroom?

Shen rolled his eyes disbelievingly. "Well pretty boy, that's because you need about 2 hours to get ready in case you have conveniently forgotten. And we don't want to be late no more. So get your sluggy butt moving or I'll..."

"You'll what?" I challenged him with my sleepy voice, pathethic I know.

"I'll... ummm yes I'll pee into your sachertortes!" he exclaimed triumphantly.

"What!" My eyes snapped open. No way... he couldn't, wouldn't but shit! Indeed his right hand was holding my precious sachertorte bundle! Not just any sachertorte mind you, but these were the SPECIAL RARE ones! Vegan, no fat, 100 percent natural, no MSG or additives. Tastes absolutely sinful but not fattening nor detrimental to one's health at all... I could feel panic flooding me. _NOT THOSE SACHERTORTES! I SPENT A DECADE HUNTING THEM!_

"So what's it gonna be?" Shen mocked me, as his left hand began toying with a wrapped sachertorte.

"Fine! You win this round" I grumbled as I forced myself off the bed. I cursed him mentally. Confound it! What was I thinking when I signed him up as my team mate for 2003?

"Allright. I see your fully awake now..." he tossed the sachertortes to me. "And one more thing. Wake me up _AFTER_ and I repeat _ONLY AFTER_ your all dressed up and ready to go." Shen smirked as he walked towards his bed.

I sighed, shoulders slumped. Come to think of it, Shen did have a valid point. Alas being a fashionista comes with a heavy price. Believe it or not, but I take pains to maintain my image, to always look my best especially since I am the Star of 2003. I would rather die than let the fashion police catch me looking sloppy! And so I always take around 2 hours of preparation before I deem myself presentable for public scrutiny...

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A/N: I noticed his fave food is sachertorte so I just added it in. Also, he seems kinda appearance conscious (OMG 178cm and 59 kg?) so I added in those bits on nutritional values and those stuff. Since Shen seems to be his buddy (also I notice excessive amounts of Art depicting him with Shen) I have made Shen to be his roommate, housemate whatever. (No Yaoi, though) 


	2. 2 Vanity Rituals

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK thanks though I wish I owned Ash heh (sick mind I have yeah)

This chapter describes more of Ash's daily beauty rituals. Meant to be descriptive, showing the Vain Side of him so skip it if you aint a sucker for details ;) And I think it does hint at Shen's masculine virile nature though nothing Yaoi.

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**Chap 2. Vanity Rituals**

I opted for a shower this morning as a bath would probably just lull me sleep again... to the sweet beckoning of Morpheus promising me MissL... to another lucid dream... to another... Shen's snore brought me back to reality. I looked at the clock. 5 minutes. I had wasted 5 minutes standing there just daydreaming! I sighed and did the unevitable - shower. Nothing wakes the senses up better than a shower, dont you think?

I soaped myself, paying special attention to my face. My fans had always said the part they loved most about me was my face. (maybe its because they can't see anything else since I cover them all up, heh) I scrubbed it, exfoliated it making sure to slough off all the dead skin cells and oil (if any). Finally feeling good and refreshed I glanced at the mirror. I wanted to look youthful and glowing, nay I had to! It would please my fans, and especially MissL who made it known she's my Number 1 Fan!

Seems to me all the exfoliating helped... my skin now looked real fine & delicate. The cheeks appeared pink. As I stared into the face in the mirror it suddenly occurred to me I was staring into the face of a nymph. Better go now before I end up becoming Narcissus the 2nd... I shuddered as I remembered the tragic story of Narcissus, a pretty Greek youth who was foolish enough to fall in love with himself.

I went to my cabinet & pulled out my choice of clothing for the day. Black Trenchcoat (aka Matrix Style), a long-sleeved white V-neck t-shirt, and a nice pair of navy blue flare pants. I got dressed and donned my silver accessories.

8.30 am. Still 1 1/2 hr left to 10...

I applied sunblock on my face and lightly dusted some sheer loose powder to enhance the transparency & glow of my skin. Powdered my brows, curled & mascara-ed to "open up" my eyes.

Finally. The Hair. This part always takes the longest to do... I took 40 mins to style it and blow it dry. Finally all set and done. I felt particularly proud of myself. I had finished at 9.20am, earlier than what Shen had expected.

I donned my usual black faux nails. It was now my turn to wake him up. ;)

Shen stared at me wide eyed.

"What happened to you?" he demanded.

"Huh? I dont understand. Did I apply too much mascara? Oh I know I forgot my lipstick!" I reached out for it.

His hand intercepted mine.

"No, I mean you look great. You look fabulous. Is this your real face?" he asked in disbelief "So this is what you been hiding from me and Duo Lon all these months... under that heavy cakey makeup." Shen seemed to ponder.

I blushed deeply under his hot gaze. Suddenly, I felt naked to the eyes.

"More or less," I replied quietly, averting his eyes. He suddenly reminded me of a wolf intend on devouring a lamb.

"Let's go. This is going to be such a fine day." He smiled his dazzling sexy smile. I had no idea what he meant so I just said yeh yeh whatever.

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**A/N:** Shen is described as a wild, sexy handsome man by Falcoon, the artist for KOF2003. Ash on the other hand strikes me as a very fastidious man, meticulous to the last detail on his appearance. 


	3. 3 Doppelganger?

**Disclaimer**: All KOF characters owned by SNK thanks though I wish I owned Ash heh (sick mind I have yeah) He's the darling don't you think?

This chapter is basically dialogue based.(HINT: Something 'interesting' finally happens) Different style of writing from the 1st two, hope you guys dont mind. And please enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it for you

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**Chap 3. Doppelganger?**

We walked on, each wrapped in our own thoughts.

"Hey, Ash?" Shen was the first to break the silence.

"Ummm yeah?"

"I know you may have good valid reasons but could you at least share something about your family, or about your past? You are so mysterious you know? I mean, you know all about me, yet I know next to nothing about you?" He tried to reason with me.

"Well I never asked. And it was you who kept going on and on about yourself, remember?" I frowned as I recalled the endless hours of enduring his prattles.

"Owww man now that hurts," Shen said in a small voice. "I just thought you might like to know what's going on in my life what with us being friends and all. Besides..." His voice trailed off, as if unsure to continue.

"What? Come clean with it," I snapped. Shen was acting real weird; he normally was not one at a loss for words.

"Say Ash..." He fiddled with the opening of his shirt. "Would you happen to umm, have a twin sister or cousin or something like that?"

What? Had I heard wrong? I stared at him in disbelief. Shen shifted uneasily under my glare.

"Ummm relax, dude. It's just that, I thought I saw a chick who looked very much like you but she vanished before I could even say Hi... so I was thinkin' that mebbe... you mighta know something about it? Your relative, mebbe?" he suggested

I stopped dead in my tracks. No way but could it be? I composed myself. "Oh really? Do tell me more." I said in yet another of my 'disinterested' tone.

"Hmmn, she was two roads down from here at Baker's Lane. Checking out the confectionaries and bakeries. Seemed to have a sweet tooth or something. And oh yeh that was a few days before you appeared."

He looked at me. I said nothing.

"She had lovely platinum blonde hair, just like yours except longer. Long slim legs in leg warmers. She was also wearing this checkered coachman coat with fur trimmings. And her face..." I could sense Shen's eyes resting on me. I turned away, somehow feeling uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He was giving me goosebumps.

"Yeh what about the face?" I demanded. The nerve of him! He had no right to look at me like that... as if I was his amor or something!

He blinked. Once, Twice. "Oh about the face... nothing. Just that it looked pretty much like yours now, come to think of it. And yeah, one more thing."

"What?" I said not daring to meet his eyes

"She was taller than you, that's for sure." He smiled triumphantly while relief flooded me. Though I could have sworn he gave me one final lookover when he thought I wasn't looking...

"Ummm Shen?"

"Yeah?" He looked at me with bright expectant eyes.

"I have been thinking. I do not have any female relatives that meet your description. Nope, none that I know of." I shook my head for emphasis. "You sure you ain't making this all up?" I had to make sure.

He looked hurt. "No of course not! She was real I swear it! Man, you should have seen her! She looked exactly like you, umm it's as if she was the feminized you. I know this sounds incredible but its true. Saw it with mine own eyes!"

I felt pretty uncomfortable. All this talk about the 'feminized' me. It seemed to me that Shen was suggesting something albeit discreetly. Time for a change of topic.

"Hey, don't tell me the mighty Shen has finally fallen for someone? Hah, I must tell Duo Lon this!" I said teasingly.

He reddened significantly. "Of course not! Never! The Almighty Shen Woo has better things to do than fall in love. Hmmph and don't you go round spreading rumours, you imp or I'll... OMG that's it!" he exclaimed.

Huh? Did I miss anything?

"It was you! Your the spy. Your Duo Lon's spy. Then you go back and gossip with him don't you? I always wondered how Duo Lon knew what went on, even without being there. But now I know. He's got an informant. Your his spy!" he cried passionately.

I rolled my eyes. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. "Listen, it's not what you think. No one's spying on you, it's just that you talk too loud and everyone hears you whether they want to or not."

And indeed it was true. Everyone in the streets were staring at us as if we were 2 loonies.

"Why didn't you tell me. Any of you?" Shen spoke in a barely audible whisper as we moved on.

"We tried to but you just wouldn't listen," I replied in a whisper of my own. It was true. Duo Lon and I had tried to tell him before, but he wouldn't or maybe couldn't listen below his own loud voice.

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A/N: For all Duo Lon fans, dont worry! I didn't forget him. Just waiting for the 'perfect' moment for him to make his grand entrance. Remember he isn't a free man - he's always out chasing after Ron or Lin smiles So just stay tuned! 


	4. Street Shopping

Disclaimer: All KOF characters owned by SNK. ;)

Hey guys thanks for the reviews/emails a lot. This chapter should prove pretty interesting I hope. Check it out!

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**4. Street Shopping **

As it turned out, the leisurely walk proved pretty interesting. Although it was Sunday, the streets of Shanghai bustled with activities. You could see people scurrying to and fro, while vendors yodel out loud, advertising their wares. Varieties ranged from local delicacies to Oriental antiquities. All laid out on the streets, indeed a colorful feast for the eyes.

I soon found myself engrossed surveying the streets, trying to find something of interest. Maybe something to buy home as souvenir. No, perhaps something to wear, I quickly amended as I spied a makeshift stall selling Chinese period costumes.

Wow! These things are indeed rare, in fact something of a novelty back in Europe, especially France. And come to think of it… hmmn I had yet to try on an authentic Chinese costume. Bursting with excitement, I enthusiastically reached out for a red top.

The material felt luxurious against my skin. I gasped in delight as realization dawned on me. So this is… Chinese silk? I thought in awe as I caressed the material lovingly. So smooth, so fine, so lovely! Mon dieu! As I twirled the fabric around my deft fingers, my thoughts turned licentious… I couldn't help but wonder if naughty garments come in this luxuriant material too. Heh, now that would be totally decadent. I could not help but giggle as more erotic thoughts pervaded my mind…

Suddenly a loud voice startled me. No god, please no I prayed silently. But unfortunately, it was… who else but Mr loudmouth Shen?

"Hey what were you thinking of running away like that? Weren't you listening to me? I was saying…" Shen paused as something finally seemed to click into place in that thick skull of his. His eyes widened. "You… That…"he managed as he pointed to the beautiful red piece I was holding.

"Yes. I am buying _this_." I stressed on the word '_this_' to let him know I was serious. My hand closed on the red top possessively. Afterall, there was no telling what Shen, the 'no-brainer', might do….

Meanwhile his expression flickered between surprise and amusement for a brief moment before he regained his composure.

"Ummm fine, I guess." He scratched his faux blonde head with the right hand as if considering something. "But let me have the honor of buying it for you. And no buts, I insist!" He beamed, flashing me his dazzling killer smile once again.

I thought I detected a hint of mischief in his eyes but I couldn't be certain for sure. And with my silence (which he assumed was consent) Shen took the piece off me and strode off aka cowboy style towards the vendor who had apparently been watching all along.

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A/N: Whoa, I actually wrote such a long continuation that I decided to split it up into chap 4, 5 & 6! Actually I don't dislike Shen, I think he's cool too. But every humor story needs to have a sucka don't you think? So let's just say Shen has the honor of being ummm ½ a sucker in this fic at least. And to all those people who have given me feedback thank you so much. Arigatou. (does a little bow) 

Hmmn, French people are known to be vain, classy, elegant and also 'naughty.' Hence I invented that part about the red silk top. No pun intended, ok? ;)


	5. The Purchase

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Ok, this is the other ½ that I split into chapter 5 :D

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**5. The Purchase**

It was then _it _happened. Two voices raised high in volume. Or specifically, it was none other than the voices of Shen and a certain street peddlar. They seemed to be arguing, no shouting about something… and once again people were staring. Damn it, second time in less than an hour, curse that Shen! I swore silently in English and in Francais.

A wave of excitement and tension permeated the atmosphere. I could suddenly sense an immense amount of _qi_-energy gathering… but no this can't be... or could it? I turned around. Shen was already in his usual fighting stance, prepared for combat. And from the looks of it things could only get uglier.

"Oh my god, he's gonna kill the peddlar, he's gonna kill the peddlar!" My brain repeated stupidly. I stood rooted to the spot, numbed by this shocking revelation. It was just so stupid! Killing a man over a silk top! I found myself horrified yet fascinated by the man's daftness.

Yet obviously not as much as the crowd who was barely able to contain their excitement… Onlookers were whistling and cheering Shen on, obviously a crude lot who enjoyed watching unnecessary blood spill.

Just as all hope was lost, the unexpected happened. The peddlar muttered an 'OK' albeit reluctantly. But it was enough. Shen dispensed with his fighting stance, fished out some loose change from his jeans' pocket and…then what? The peddlar handed him a package in response. They even shook hands and hugged.

The crowd muttered a "chey" in unison and dispersed, obviously disappointed. There was no fight afterall.

Huh? I was indeed confused. What on earth had just happened?

"Come let's go, and oh yeah here's your top." Shen gave me a mischievous wink.

I still didn't get it. How could he_ act_ as if _nothing had happened_? I stole a glance at the vendor but strangely, he too behaved in the same manner. _How could they both pretend nothing had transpired? Why, if it was me..._

"I said_, let's GO_!" Shen repeated impatiently, but this time his hands tugged me along. "And oh yeah. Breakfast, this time your treat. And no Buts, you owe me!" He indicated the package I was holding.

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A/N: Short chapter I know. But the next few paragraphs are not related to this, so… no choice but to end it here. ;) 


	6. Breakfast Bargain

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Wow, this is the 3rd chapter I wrote today… Hmmn weird. Ok, things are really starting to heat up. Hint: this is just the Prelude

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**6. The Breakfast Bargain**

Great, should've known. It was a plan all along to make me buy breakfast. _Why, that CHEAPSKATE!_ I seethed inwardly with anger. Probably to get _'even' _with me. Why? For making him buy breakfast the other time. No doubt about it. Well, sorry Mister but I ain't no pushover. Just you wait! I'll give as good as I get.

I glanced at my watch.

10.20 am. The corners of my mouth lifted into what I hoped passed for an impish smile.

"But it's 10.20 already, we won't have time. The appointment's at 11!" I said in the sweetest voice I had. "Besides you said that we mustn't be late this time, remember?"

"Yeah, the appointment is important, _but not_ as important as _my _stomach." He gestured towards his exposed belly.

"Besides, surely I deserve some reward for my efforts? At least I got you a good price on your purchase. Second, I gave us some publicity. I am sure by now everyone on the streets knows who the almighty Shen W… wweee are."

He could still see I wasn't convinced although I said nothing.

"Alright, its actually what we call bargaining. It's common here in Asia. "

"…." I stopped in my tracks. Now that was_ something new_.

He could see my interest was piqued.

"Hey, tell you what. I'll brief you on our culture and stuff. Everything you ever wanted to know. Just for the _reasonable_ price of one breakfast. Deal?"

Damn, he sure knew his stuff well. He had just made me an offer I can't refuse! Suddenly, I could recall why he was in my Team. The man was an odd one, wavering between sheer _idiocy_ and _intelligence_ at times. An interesting specimen, nonetheless.

"Deal!" And with that we crossed our little fingers.

Somewhere off in the distance, I could hear someone snicker softly. And even stranger was that it sounded kinda familiar to my ears… Now, where had I heard that before? I racked my brains, trying to find a possible clue but the memory proved evasive… was I imagining things again? I looked at Shen.

Nothing out of the ordinary there. In fact he was in motor-mouth mode again, speaking of the adventures of his childhood, his adolescence, his conquests and so on. Sigh! Only Heaven alone knows how many hours of endless prattling I'll have to endure this time…

Again the familiar laughter. I looked around but could make out no one.

"Hey Shen, didn't you hear?" I had to tap his shoulder repeatedly to snap him out of 'motor-mouth mode.'

"Huh? What?" He reacted like a man who had just been roused from sleep.

"Someone's laughing at us!"

"Don't be silly. If you don't want to give a treat, just say so! There's no need to make up such stupid childish stories. There's no one else here but us!" Shen gesticulated to the empty space around us.

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A/N: Wow, was Ash really imagining things? And why is it Shen couldn't hear it:D All shall be revealed (hopefully) in Chap 7 which I am working on half way… Man, that's like 3 ½ chapters in less than 1 day… Something really weird is going on in my head… 

BTW I am having formating/editing problems. I keep getting this annoying error 400. And its irking me cos it wastes me time! Not to mention, my formatting here appears different... Help... anyone?


	7. Tussle

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Ok this is the interesting chapter that follows the 'prelude' earlier. It's pretty long to make up for the short chapters earlier… what can I say? Enjoy!

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**7. The Tussle**

Just then, a foul odour wafted past. Having a sensitive nose I was acutely aware of it first. It smelled like… Good question. I tried analyzing the smell and instantly regretted it. Ewwww. It smelled like something disgusting. Like shit, or sewage or something of that sort. What the hell?

Shen looked at me, and I looked back at him. Seems he caught on the scent too. We both nodded my heads. Time for action plan. We let our noses lead us. It brought us to a nearby dilapidated manor, and indeed there was a black figure perched on its roof, seemingly camouflaged. In fact, if it hadn't been for the stench, the culprit would have remained invisible to the untrained eye…

Our eyes met yet again. Shen gave a slight nod, while I merely smiled in return. Once more, there was unspoken agreement between us.

One, two, three. We walked into the old manor, pretending to talk about the weather and how sunny it was today to distract the 'spy', while discreetly falling into strategic positions within the house. Shen was to blast the ceiling open with a vertical 'shock punch' while my job was to cut off the escape route; in short prevent the prey from escaping. Simple task granted my 'Ventose' move. Projectiles could be such an advantage at times…

"Say Shen, think it's gonna rain afterall?" I inclined my head towards the ceiling.

"Hmmn, supposedly not, but then again the weather is unpredictable isn't it…" His voice trailed off as he did a sudden shock punch upwards. "Wahhhh!" His masculine voice carried in the air.

Wham! Impact made. The ceiling caved in, bringing along the person on the rooftop. I rushed forward, ready to pin the fallen victim with my Messidor but he had already regained his balance with surprising agility! The person was on a defensive stance now.

"Hooo… Hyaaah!" I screamed, performing my Ventose move. The person would be stunned by my Green Flames, no doubt about it. But surprise, he easily teleported through. Merde, I swore softly. Just my luck! This was going to be one tough nut to crack…

Shen decided to seize the moment. "Take that!" He yelled, as he performed his Terenshou move on the man's exposed back. It landed square on the butt. The man in black stumbled but did not fall. I rushed forward and did my Vendemiaire move. This, if anything should be sufficient to knock that annoying bugger out. Unfortunately for me, the guy rolled past my first blow and I was left hitting the empty air…

"Geez Ash, _can't_ you do _anything right?_ Why are you hitting the empty air!" Shen shouted, exasperated as he rushed forward to intercept the would-be escapee.

"I can't help it. It's part of my Vendemiaire move. Even if the first hit doesn't connect, I still have to perform the next two blows…"

Ten seconds later, only when I had finished with the Vendemiaire did I dare turn around. Shen and the man were already locked in combat. For some reason the man's stance looked familiar…

"Take this!" Shen screamed as he performed yet another powerful shock punch, sailing the entire distance and towards the waiting opponent. I gasped in stupefied horror... Shen could really be so thick headed at times!

Needless to say, the man merely rolled behind Shen and then, he countered with amazing speed. He did a few crouching jabs, followed by some graceful stance(s) which rendered Shen immobile, and repeated steps. It looked like there was no end to it! Shen was gonna be creamed this time. I knew then I had to intervene.

Fortunately, the bugger seemed so engrossed with creaming Shen that he totally ignored my presence. I ran towards the assailant's back and… No, wait. I can't risk using the Vendemiaire. What if it misses again? I'd be left open to attack without Shen guarding my ass… Hmmn… Oh yeh that! I performed two crouching jabs courtesy of my long fingers, and connected it with my Pluviose move. 1…, 3…, 6…, 7…, 8. I got an 8-hit combo! The assailant fell flat, face down.

Before he could compose himself, both Shen and I were already on either side of him. I pinned him down with my Messidor while Shen did the interrogation.

"Well, well what have we here? Some fancy prick?" He spoke in a typical street-bully style as he yanked off the victim's makeshift mask. His eyes widened almost instantly.

What's going on? Now I was indeed confused… Whatever could it be to cause Shen to shut his trap?

I turned the man's head around and looked into a pair of familiar eyes. Slanted, sherry eyes. Hauntingly beautiful yet inscrutable as always… Set in flawless porcelain skin I had always envied… It was now my turn to stare surprised as I recognized the person in front of me.

I took a deep breath before I said my next word.

"Duo Lon…"

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A/N: Hehe, how's that for a Grand Entrance? Duo Lon fans, hope you liked it ;) 


	8. The Banter

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Ok, yet another chapter today :) Actually I had finished this yesterday ummm just putting ina few Notes here and there. Its ready now I think. Enjoy. And thx for the reviews/ comments. I have decided to put in other characters too but at the opportune moments. Hehe. FYI This chapter is longer than the others...

_Hint: All good things have their appointed time. I don't wanna rush them in yet_. ;)

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**8. The Banter**

"Yeah, mate! What were you thinking of spying on us like that? We _could have seriously injured_ _you_, you know? Nextime, identify yourself!" Shen interjected. Mon Dieu! Once again, Mr Blabbermouth displayed his unparalleled prowess in cutting off other people's speech…

"…." As usual, Duo Lon said nothing but stared moodily. Always the cool one, wasn't he?

"Hey, look. We are really sorry. Really didn't know it was you." I said quietly, carefully observing Duo Lon for the slightest reaction. No good. He still maintained his stoic countenance, giving none of his thoughts away... Ok, time for the '_soft approach_.'

"Hehehe, but you know what? That was one hell of a fight. You almost bested Shen and me single-handedly, you know that? And it has been so long since I last felt the _¹heebie-jeebies!_ " I nudged him good-naturedly on his left shoulder. And indeed, it was true. Had I not crept up on him stealthily, we might have lost for all we know…

The words had its intended effect. Duo Lon's laconic face broke into a wry smile. "Nice one Ash. I never thought you would say that… but you know what?" He looked at me thoughtfully with those mysterious eyes of his. "_¹I salute your ability...can't believe you did that well_ either..."

We both smiled, amused. For indeed, we were heroes evenly met. His unfathomable, unorthodox skills matched my cunning resource. Just as the Chinese saying goes, _' ²crouching tiger, hidden dragon _(臥虎藏龍).' I never knew Duo Lon had those secret moves, just as he never expected me to pull a 8-hitter on him from the back. Unfortunately, our reverie was broken by a piqued voice…

"Nice one, but the fact remains you LOST! I WON! So_, ¹who's truly tough? Now you know, huh?" _ Both Duo Lon and I groaned in unison. We had conveniently forgotten the third guy, Shen.

"You know, you could have died if I had used my full strength? Count your lucky stars I only used like 10 percent of my _inner_ _qi_ reserve. If not, you wouldn't be alive this very second. I could have smashed your pretty face in! Blah blah blah." Shen bragged on about his 'invincible' boxing skills, conveniently forgetting that it was _he_ who was almost thrashed. Afterall, he was Shen Woo, which literally means God of Battle. It was impossible for him to lose! Uhhmmmmn according to him, that is.

I had to stifle yet another yawn. Shen was at it again, the monologue mode. I glanced at Duo Lon. In the depths of his eyes I found yet another fellow sufferer of the Shen syndrome. We both nodded our heads in unison. Time for a change of subject…

"Say Shen, weren't you hungry?"

Nothing better to distract a scatterbrain like him than food.

"Hmmn, and here I was wondering why my stomach was rumbling." He petted his belly affectionately. "Hey Duo Lon, we are having breakfast. Wanna tag along?"

"Sure, I'd love to. I have not eaten for days, come to think of it."

Mon Dieu! Now I indeed have my hands full. Not one but two hungry cheapskates sponging off me… How could life be so sucky at times? Merde I swore silently yet again, unbecoming of a French gentleman I know. Time to thwart the parasites' plan.

"Ahahaha, you must be joking right guys?" I decided it was time to play the jovial French laddie again. (Hey, that's my official KOF image afterall)

"Je regrette, mais (I am sorry but)I didn't bring enough money with me!" I turned the insides of my pockets out, to show them my plight.

"Hmmn, but don't you have a credit card or something? And what's up with the French again…"

Gulp, why did Duo Lon have to be so smart? Sometimes I wished he was as dumb as Shen…

"Ahahaha, left it back at our place... I think. Left in a rush." I lied.

"Oh, in that case I'll pay first then. And you pay me back when we return. Problem solved."

My heart did a little dance. Sometimes I could _almost kiss_ Shen for his stupidity. _Almost_. He could be my knight in shining armour at times! Plus Shen paying was as good as his treat, because he _always_ forgot to claim back. Ahahaha! I decided to get naughty…

"Thank you!" I hugged the dense one affectionately.

"No problem. Afterall, a friend in need is a friend indeed!" And with that he gave me a bear hug. A hug so tight it knocked the breath out of me!

"Ahem!" Duo Lon cleared his throat.

Shen immediately dropped his arms.

"Ummm ok…" He glanced at his watch. "Shit, we have dawdled enough already. Let's get our pretty asses moving! Breakfast, breakfast here we come." He led the way happily, his butt jigging.

As I stepped near Duo Lon, the latter stopped me.

"Say, what gave me away? I was _sure_ I had _mastered_ the art of shadows. How did you guys know I was on that roof?"

As I was about to speak, the foul smell assailed my senses again. I stood near Duo Lon and took a whiff. There it was, the source of the stench.

"Ummm, that… I think." I pointed to his black coat.

"Ahh. No wonder. I just knew I should have changed. Backcountry latrines ain't exactly the… cleanest places to be in. But oh well, at least we learnt something didn't we?"

"And what is that?

"That smell is an important factor in camouflaging."

"Ahahaha. You are right Duo Lon, yeah!" I paid lip service, although inwardly I was secretly gloating. Sure, smell is an important factor dumbo, that goes without saying…

As I looked heavenwards at the sunny blue sky, I thanked the Fates for bequeathing me with two powerful but not-too-intelligent aides. Afterall, what better help could someone like myself ask for? Ahahaha, ahahaha!

"Sheesh Ash, snap out of it! You bonkers or something?"

Huh? Ooops, I just realized I had laughed out loud as two pairs of eyes glared suspiciously at me.

"Ummm nothing. Just that… I love mornings." And I grinned my trademark Cheshire cat smile.

They seemed to buy that bullshit. Whew, close one. Note to self, be more aware of own actions nextime…

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**A/N:**

1. All words denoted with ¹ are quoted from the KOF2003 winning screen. I just quoted part of Ash's, and the full lines from DuoLon/ Shen. They only say these btw when they defeat each other (And not to anyone else outside their team) If I am wrong, please correct me ;)

_2. ²crouching tiger, hidden dragon _is attributed to a Chinese saying which teaches one to conceal one's strengths from others in order to preserve the element of surprise. In this case, both DL and Ash had done it. DL never demo-ed his awesome 'infinity' skill before, while Ash never showed he was capable (ummm badass) enough pulling off a combo on people's back.

3. Damn, some symbols dont appear when I posted. Edited.


	9. Crabs & Fingernails

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Hi guys, Welcome back. I didn't have much work to do today so… yes another chapter hehe. To my reviewers, thanks for your support. You are the motivating factor, man :) This chapter is… like its title says LOL.

Hope you like it and yes, I love teasing my readers. ; D

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**9. Crabs & Fingernails**

"Ok, here we are. TA-DAAAA!" Shen announced happily.

What the… Oh god! Not again? It was the very same crab eatery we had gone to the other time. _NOOOOOOO!_ My brain screamed in denial. This is Horror Revisited, what else can I say?

"Umm, Shen can we have patisserie instead? I am not very hungry…" It was true. I had suddenly lost my appetite. I glanced at Duo Lon beseechingly, praying he would help alleviate my plight but alas, he was of a different mind…

"Nonsense, mere pastry can't fill a man's stomach. Besides, I am very hungry. Haven't eaten for days, remember? These Shanghai crabs shall do just fine."

I had no other choice but to follow them into the dreadful shop, my head bowed low in defeat. As I glanced at the tied-up crabs laying pitifully in a pile, memories of my last unfortunate encounter with the cursed creatures flooded me…

Back then, I had suggested eating Shanghai crabs as a joke. Never expected Shen to be dead serious on it.

"Allright, your on! Take your pick. My treat," he had said.

And so I had unwittingly gone to the woven baskets to choose the _lucky_ crab.

Unfortunately, one of them had not been properly bound. Perhaps he was _pissed _for being _overlooked_, perhaps he was just _out to get me?_ I don't know. But as I was examining the other fellows, this mean little bugger clamped onto my right index finger with his pincer. _Owww!_ _The pain was indescribable!_ I had tried desperately to pry him off but in vain. He only tightened his hold.

In sheer desperation, I kept shaking my hand. Finally, the bugger fell off but not without my entire fingernail! I almost fainted when I saw my finger bleeding where the nail had been.

Before I could react, the annoying crab had jumped up and clamped my left middle finger, splitting the nail there effectively. This time I was really angry and reacted by summoning my emerald flames. And less than a second later, the offending crab had turned into barbecued seafood.

But the damage had already been done. My _beautiful manicured nails_ had been ruined… the _real _reason why I am using _faux nails_ now. All because of some stupid Shanghai crab…

As I recounted the incident again, my anger flared. I had sworn never to let history repeat itself and still felt adamant about it. Why if those two goons…

"Three barbecued crabs, takeaway please."

Huh? So we didn't have to eat there? I glanced up and noticed Shen looking at me with understanding. So, he knew! That dumbass knew! Honestly, I didn't know whether to feel angry or grateful but relief washed over me anyway. At least someone knew… He gave me a small grin.

"Ok guys, let's hurry. 10 minutes to 11!"

"…." Duo Lon choked. Now, that's what happens when you try to protest with a full mouth, dumbo.

"Relax, dude. You can eat all you want once we arrive. Can't afford to be late this time. The chairman might disqualify us!"

Huh? Disqualify? No way, it can't be that serious… can it?

As if he could read my thoughts, Duo Lon elaborated.

"The Boss Team was disqualified just last week for being late yet again. Why else do you think they ain't in this year?"

"Same goes for that NESTS team. Late for all promotional schedules." Shen added as he sucked the remaining crab flavour off his grubby fingers. Ewwww, talking about _personal hygiene…_

"Yeah, and that's precisely why I didn't bother to change my black coat although maybe I should…?" Duo Lon sniffed his smelly overcoat self-consciously.

"But it's just some promotional shots. Not as if we are late for a match or something. Ok, _how many times _were they late _anywa_y?"

Both voices rang out in unison.

"Three!"

Sweat dropped. So far, we had already been late twice courtesy of me, Ash Crimson. This time would effectively make it the third. Damn! The dreadful idea of being disqualified on such petty grounds after all the trouble…

"Then what are we waiting for?" I shouted. And ran as fast as my scrawny legs could.

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**A/N:**

Hehe, now you know why Duo Lon couldn't change his attire… And why he couldn't eat. He didn't have time. ;) He had to rush from backcountry to Shanghai for the 'appointment.' Sweet of him, isn't it? Owww, lets give him a hug. (Hehe).


	10. The Venue

**Disclaimer:** All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Ok, this is gnna be pretty short. Why? Because the previous ones were too long, and the next one is gonna be fun. :D Umm, does your brain hurt yet?

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**10. The Venue**

9 minutes later, we arrived at the scheduled venue. The Public Relations Officer looked on approvingly as he withdrew an attendance checklist.

"Ah, nice timing boys. You are one minute early, and here we were athinkin' that maybe we had to strike another team out… Perhaps _some people_ do _change _afterall."

For that, and that insult alone I could have killed him then and there. But I restrained myself. Afterall, _don't play your trump card till the end… the very end!_ Now, where had I heard that?

"Well Sir, we do realize the importance of publicity. And that is why we are here early," Duo Lon replied smoothly.

The man considered this for a brief moment before breaking into an amused smile.

"I like your style young man. Yes, things in life should never be taken lightly, be it big or small. Ok, Milly, show them in."

We were thus led up to the second floor. Everywhere, people scrambled to avoid us, wrinkling their noses in distaste. Even the one known as Milly held her nose.

"Ummm, would you mind removing _that?_" she said finally, pointing towards the elegant black coat Duo Lon was wearing.

Duo Lon's face reddened significantly although he said nothing. Although I never guessed he would, Duo Lon obediently complied. He removed his stinky overcoat quietly, and handed it to Milly who promptly dumped it into a nearby trash bin.

"…. and that was one month's savings. All gone," Duo Lon mumbled, staring moodily at the bin.

Oh no! Now I felt really sorry for the poor thing. Ahhh, the sacrifices he made for the team… it made me feel ashamed of my dalliance the 1st two times. So I reached out for his hand and squeezed it affectionately to show I cared… and was _rewarded_ with yet another _blank stare_. Sometimes, I really wonder. Is he _human or zombie?_

"Ok guys, here we are," Milly announced when we reached the doorsteps of a certain room.

Shen took one look and protested.

"Hey, this is the _MAKEOVER_ room! _We ain't no wussies!_ Hey, come back here why you… you…"

But too late, Milly was already out of sight.

"Guess we have no other choice then. Let's go."

And together we walked into the Makeover Room, resigned to our fate.

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**A/N**

Poor guys… . But stay tuned. Next one is gnna be very fun. Ahahaha! (ooops, damn Ash influence) Just wait and see. ;)


	11. 101 Bath Madness

**Disclaimer**: All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Ok, I noticed 10 was too short so here's 10.1 There's gonna be more plot twists just stay tuned! And apologies for not updating sooner. I had little access to computer these days and have been piled up with work… Whoa. Month end closing is every Finance person's nightmare! And it's cool that people still read my crap story :D

Cya and hope you enjoy this folks! And thx for the reviews… theres something naughty brewing in this chapter it will be the prelude for the next ;)

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**10.1 Bath Madness**

The short man glanced at the three of us and shook his head disapprovingly.

"Ah I can see you guys aren't ready yet. Come now, a bath will work wonders." And so saying, he led us into a beautiful bathroom. "You have 30 minutes."

What the heck? Hey, this is not fair! I had just bathed less than 2 hours ago, didn't I? Alright maybe the other two really needed a bath but me? Before I could protest he had already exited the room and soon after we heard something clamp into place...

I tried to pry the door open. No luck. Looks like we were locked in; for better or worse... Inwardly I seethed with anger. This 'Publicity' thing was starting to get on my nerves! How dare they presume so much!

Shen and Duo Lon seemed to be of a different opinion however. While I was busy making a display of my _anger _and trying to uncover any _possible exit(s)_, the pair had already disrobed and jumped into the bath.

Sighing resignedly, I turned around and very soon it occurred to me there was going to be a very Big Problem.

Because you see, I, the Ash Crimson am not used to bathing with others. I have and will always bathe alone. No doubts about that!

"Ummmm guys, maybe you could finish in 20 minutes and let me soak myself in it later for the remaining time? _Please_?"

"Hmmmnnnn..."

"Please, I need some privacy." I pouted prettily. Unfortunately it did not have the desired effect.

"Yo, what's the matter Ash? We are all men, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You have it, I have it, he has it." Shen could still see I wasn't convinced though.

"Ok, look. Even Duo Lon here has no issues about us bathing together." And as if to prove his point the _presumably naked_ Shen hugged the _presumably naked_ Duo Lon. _Gulp!_ Now, that action made me _all the more jittery_...

"What's the matter dude? Oh man, don't tell me you have grown a _pussy_? Is that it?"

"Ummm, no. Of course not!"

"Well then what are you so afraid of? We are buddies and should have nothing to hide."

By now, even the usually aloof Duo Lon stared at me suspiciously. Damn, things were not looking good indeed. From the look in their eyes, I knew I had to react fast or risk being stripped and dragged in head-to-toe. And the thought itself was rather… humiliating.

I felt myself redden under their scrutiny.

"Ok then. But on one condition- I get to keep my briefs on."

"Haha, whoever said we weren't wearing ours? You really think we are naked? Hahaha."

I felt an even deeper red staining my cheeks this time round.

"Great job Ash. Brilliant! You have outdone yourself this time. Now they think you're dirty minded too." An inner voice chided me. Sad but true I know…

After I had stripped (minus the briefs of course) and entered the bath, Duo Lon held my hand as if to draw my attention.

"You could never be too careful. For all you know we could be filmed even now, that's why we always bathe with our briefs on in public places." He confided.

"Just some basic precautions." The other added with a wink.

Ahahaha… now that made perfect sense...

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**A/N:**

Yeh I know getting a bit naughty here but this is gonna set the prelude for the next chapter which is the Bonus Chapter I have promised others. Its gnna be written in narrative form, not the 1st person form to let readers have a glimpse of the upcoming events LOL. Yeh I need time, badly!


	12. Evil Ambitions

**Disclaimer**: All KOF characters owned by SNK.

Allright here is the Bonus Chapter I promised. Written in narrative style here to set the story events hehehe enjoy. Oh yeh it's a little naughty so please skip if you don't like naughty stuff. winks Man I am so tired really overdone myself. Gnna take another break got to work tomorrow :(

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**11. Evil Ambitions**

"Dammit! No _nude__ scenes_ this time. This team is really _smarter_ than the others." The short man sighed, exasperated.

"There goes our porn flick," his assistant agreed.

"Yeh right, _KOF2003 Pornfest_ won't be complete, especially _without exclusive shots_ of the up-and-coming Hero Team. Especially that _blondie_ over there." The short one looked regretfully at the form of Ash on his surveillance screen.

"But Sir, he's just a guy."

"Yes I know. But he's blonde. And that's all that counts."

"But…"

"Don't you ever get it? There's a big demand for _blondes_. Our viewers want blonde. Hell, even I want blonde."

"Ah, in that case we are already rich aren't we? We have Beni, Terry, Blue Marr… Ouch!"

The short man hit his assistant on the head angrily.

"How many times have I told you? They have been around for _years_! Our viewers want something new, something _nouveau_! And he's new. And _platinum blonde_…" The short man licked his lips in anticipation.

"Huh?"

"Platinum Blondes have the highest sex appeal. They win normal blondes anytime of the day. Just look at Jean Harlow, Brigitte Bardot and Marilyn Monroe."

"I still don't get it?"

"Ok, think the old Christina Aguilera, and Paris Hilton then."

"Ah… I see. But how, Sir?"

"That's what I am asking you. How?" And the short man hit the other yet again.

Silence.

"Ah I know Sir. Why not get some extras to pose as them?"

"Brilliant idea. How are we gonna find those look-alikes though."

Silence yet again.

"Aha, got it! That Ah-Seng looks common enough for anyone from the slums to impersonate. For that other guy… hmmn maybe we can hire someone from the Peking Opera troupe of similar build and pile on the makeup."

"Good so far, but how about the blonde?"

"Maybe get an anorexic model of similar form? We could always buy her the wig."

"Heh, you can be such a genius at times!"

"Why, thank you Sir."

"Well then, get the preparations ready. Looks like we are gonna release the KOF2003 Pornfest afterall. Mwuhahahaha."

After the assistant left, the one known as Mr Lau Ti Ko rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Luckily there's Plan B, he thought happily.

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**A/N**

1. Ah Seng is a slang used to describe those people who would normally evolve into your typical gangsta. Mostly harmless though, their bark is worse than their bite. They are those who love to show off and brag a lot, but do nothing much, really.

2. Yesh if u played KOF98 slugfest you'd know this Pornfest is a play on those words. I am so badass aint I?

3. Lau Ti Ko means old molester or something like that in Chinese. His name is a dead giveaway to his nature don't you think?


End file.
